so, i just wrote this post. and then rewrote because i didn't like it. i have a lot to say but im not sure how to say it, or even if you guys would understand. if anyone's out there reading? oh well, i guess this is more for my benefit than anything else.
today has sucked, royally. i hate today and what its done to my progress overall. it's brought me back to a place a month ago that i dont like. its filled with anxiety, its dark and i hate it. id rather feel mania than what im feeling now. i think this is my dip into the cycle of depression. let the fun begin. im using all the tricks in my arsenal that i have to save this day and get into a better mood. all those DBT skills four winds is teaching me. but i dunno if its getting any better? i suppose so, because if it was the past me i would've still been in bed, sleeping, trying to cover up the issue. today i actually got up, took on cleaning my room somemore and hopefully soon ill get out and see some friends. i guess progress is being made, i just dont recognize it.
i wish today was just over. i wish that it was easier. and i didnt have to think about all this. this is interrupting my life and i dont like it.
fuck this.
peace love and balance
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